Uh-Oh

My period is late. All I can say is... opps. I haven't had the time to get a pregnancy test, but I'm thinking maybe I should? I need to find out ASAP! A part of me is like "oh no, I couldn't possibly be pregnant", but the other part is like "hmm... could I be? Could I?!"

And if I am? Then seriously, opps! I hadn't thought it out thorougly at all. I need to get hot before I get pregnant again. Otherwise won't I forever have a belly overhang? And what about that freedom that I'm so close to having? Soon I can go out and party agian, but if I'm pregnant than pfft, good luck going out! Bye bye life, once agian.

Oh no. Oh dear. Arrggghhhh! Why do I do this to myself?

Ok, just breathe....

I'm not pregnant. I know I'm not. I can't be. Off I go to the store to buy a test and confirm what I already know... I hope!

I'm Not Pregnant... Boo Hoo

*Sniffle* I'm not pregnant. The four pregnant tests I've taken have all confirmed the same thing to me. BFNs! Oh well. There's always next cycle.

I was looking at some old photos of me and my god, my skin was so clear. I looked like a model. And now? I'm a spotty mess. Seriously, what is up with my skin? It's a break out bonanza. Why? Why, Lord, why? Please give me back my clear skin!

Maybe it's got something to do with getting my period? Hmm.

I need to get hot agian. I need to lose a bit of weight, just a few kilos, say 3kgs. And fix my skin up. And tone up. I wish I could do all that without actually having to do anything. But no, I'm gonnna have to work hard at it.

At least it'll take my mind off baby making for a while!

TTC

Um. For some reason I really want another baby. I must be a glutton for punishment. Seriously, why would I want another baby when only ten months ago I was pushing one out of my hoohaa? I’ve been watching tons of TTC (trying to conceive) videos on YOUTUBE and I’m starting to wish I was right there with them. Problem is, I don’t have a willing participant. My partner thinks I’m crazy for wanting another one, what with the postnatal depression and what not. He says that one is enough.

One is enough for him, maybe. But not for me. I did something a little sneaky a week ago. After he came on me, I wiped up some of the goop with my finger and stuck it up myself. I know. I stole some sperm, hoping it’d make me pregnant. I don’t even think it was during my fertile time, but I was desperate! I really wanted to get pregnant agian.

Then I read in one of my pregnancy books that it’s really, really hard to get pregnant just like that. You need a live egg and supersperm and the timing must be absolutely perfect. So, dejected, I stopped thinking about the possibility of conception occuring that day. In fact, as the days went by I thought to myself “why do I want another baby?” I could barely look after the one I had, bless his little soul. In fact, I was looking forward to when my son would get older so I co uld go out agian and reclaim some sort of life.

So I thought, “nah, I don’t want another baby!” I’m happy with my life the way it is. Another kid will be more sleepless nights and pooey bums and basically no life whatsoever.

This morning I woke up and realised I had my hand on my belly, like I was pregnant. Then I went out and when I went to the toilet to pee, I had tons of milky white mucus on my panties. And my boobs are starting to get a little sore. Hmm… could I possibly be…?

Christian Louboutin

I really, really, REALLY want a pair of Christian Louboutin heels. Just a basic pump in black or that C'est Moi boot. Anything really. They're just so hot. All the celebs wear them. Why shouldn't I? I'm going to start saving up for my first pair.

I'm So Back

Here I am agian. Guess what? I'm actually hot! I didn't think I'd be after pushing out a 3.5kg baby, but four and a half months down the track here I am, quite possibly better than when I started. I've whittled down to 58kgs from 75kgs. Not bad, eh? Just in time for christmas! In my previous post I was worried about having a jelly belly. It's not too bad, if I am careful with the calories I consume I think I can get a pretty flat tummy by the time xmas rolls around. Happy bikini days are here again!

I'm such a celeb. If only I were talented at acting or singing, I'd have fit into Hollywood no probs. I have such a celeb lifestyle, minus the money. I have a baby (most celebs do ie: Jessica Alba, Gwen, Angelina Jolie to name a few), I sprang back into shape asap after I gave birth (just like all the starlets do), I have postnatal depression (Angelina Jolie), I've had a stint in a psychiatric ward (Britney Spears... and sure, nothing to be proud of but omg, I'm just like her!), and I'm still hot even after giving birth (Christina Aguilera). So, yeah. Just ask for my autograph, why don't you?

Haha. You can see why I had to go to hospital. I'm just so messed up. *sigh*. At least I'm pretty.

Will I Have a Jelly Belly?

I'm getting really paranoid that my belly's gonna end up looking like this at the end of my pregnancy. Eek! Granted, the woman in the picture was pregnant with triplets, but still. This is my second pregnancy after all. They say that after getting pregnant the first time your abdominal muscles weaken and it's harder to regain your figure with each subsequent pregnancy. Uh-oh.

I have been slathering on Palmers Cocoa Butter Concentrated Stretch Mark Cream daily since 2 months ago, but I already have stretch marks from my previous pregnancy and this bump is a lot bigger than my last. Plus I'm fatter. So I am destined to have an ugly, loose jelly belly aren't I? *Sobs* Oh why oh why am I even having a baby? Sheesh! I've already got one, what am I gonna do with another?!

8 Months of Gluttony

Yippee! I have just 2 more months to go before I pop out the baby and can get all skinny and sexy. As of lately I've been stuffing my face and sitting on my bum all day long. Seriously, I've turned into such a glutton. My only excuse is that I've just entered my 8th month of pregnancy (I'm catching up to Jessica Alba, apparently we're both due in June!) I'm so scared that I won't be able to lose all of the 14 kilos that I've gained thus far. I'm shaking from fear in my ugg boots as I cram M&Ms in my mouth. Eek!

I have discovered the official Kim Kardashian website, OMG, why hadn't I ever come across it before?! It was just what I needed when I actually found out about Kim. Her website has make-up tips and so much other useful facts, I LOVE IT!! I absolutely love it!

And speaking of make-up... I am 24 years old and have only recently discovered the girly delights of it! Back in high school and my early twenty's, I was never one to wear any make up. Ever. For one, I didn't need it, people told me I was pretty all the time, and two, I just didn't know how to apply it, and was too lazy to learn or care. But now, omg, take me to any cosmetic counter and I could happily spend all day there. I have spent more on make-up in the past 6 months than I have in the past 6 years! Can you believe it? Unfortunately, I don't actually get a chance to use it, as I'm so fat and frumpy and have been hiding away within these four walls. But I'm sure once the bub's out I'll lose weight and be back to my usual flashy self... I hope! Most likely it'll be that I'm too busy with bub to even contemplate a shower. Mmm, classy!