TTC

Um. For some reason I really want another baby. I must be a glutton for punishment. Seriously, why would I want another baby when only ten months ago I was pushing one out of my hoohaa? I’ve been watching tons of TTC (trying to conceive) videos on YOUTUBE and I’m starting to wish I was right there with them. Problem is, I don’t have a willing participant. My partner thinks I’m crazy for wanting another one, what with the postnatal depression and what not. He says that one is enough.

One is enough for him, maybe. But not for me. I did something a little sneaky a week ago. After he came on me, I wiped up some of the goop with my finger and stuck it up myself. I know. I stole some sperm, hoping it’d make me pregnant. I don’t even think it was during my fertile time, but I was desperate! I really wanted to get pregnant agian.

Then I read in one of my pregnancy books that it’s really, really hard to get pregnant just like that. You need a live egg and supersperm and the timing must be absolutely perfect. So, dejected, I stopped thinking about the possibility of conception occuring that day. In fact, as the days went by I thought to myself “why do I want another baby?” I could barely look after the one I had, bless his little soul. In fact, I was looking forward to when my son would get older so I co uld go out agian and reclaim some sort of life.

So I thought, “nah, I don’t want another baby!” I’m happy with my life the way it is. Another kid will be more sleepless nights and pooey bums and basically no life whatsoever.

This morning I woke up and realised I had my hand on my belly, like I was pregnant. Then I went out and when I went to the toilet to pee, I had tons of milky white mucus on my panties. And my boobs are starting to get a little sore. Hmm… could I possibly be…?